The joy that lives in our hearts, how do we go about contacting that place? That place of bigness where separation ceases to exist. When I am there I feel the quality of boundlessness, a spilling over, an overflow of something that celebrates. That says yes, I love! It is undeniable when it comes forth revealing itself. And then, what happens? Where does it go? Is it gone, or have I turned my back on such a place? And if so, not only am I sorry but also, I can turn around! I can turn around. Is it really that simple?

I look to children for inspiration. The innocence of new growth that glistens with a radiance beyond being conscientious. They just are, what they are, until it changes. Perhaps their receptivity to shifting states comes from inhabiting in a place that doesn’t shift. From my perception, the changes don’t seem to be blocked or resisted but rather embraced. Or rather, allowed, no, that’s not it either, they just happen. Now…I am crying…I am sighing…I am laughing…ad infinitum. It is similar to plants and trees. Are they here thinking should I push up through the Earth now? Is it the best time to open my petals? Should I let go and drop them now? What does it mean when the snow comes? If consciously, there isn’t much thought given to such processes, what then are choices based off of? How to know when, what, how much?

Instinct? Is that a word to describe a state of sense embodiment in which the subtle place doesn’t deny what it knows, and perhaps it doesn’t even ‘know’ it in the same way knowing is often understood. Instinct, as defined, is “a typically fixed pattern of behaviour by animals in response to a certain stimuli.” For instance, birds have an instinct build nests. Humans, do we have an instinct to stay alive at all costs? To self-preserve? Towards altruism? Do instincts of the mind and heart differ? And if so, what place do we choose to move from? Perhaps instinct isn’t the word.

Intuition? Intuition, a felt sense of knowing. A felt sense of something shifting into place, like finding the right piece of the puzzle. As defined, “the ability to understand something immediately, without conscious reasoning.” Apartfrom the mind. Without a need to justify, to rationalize, to make sense of something else informs. There is a place in me that feels it needs to understand to have something be legitimate. And sometimes, the intuitions I have can be opposed to what my logical mind might say I should do. The feeling keeps knocking. Something is known. That might be close to what flowers and children and trees feel.

Perhaps the word is ineffable. Sometimes, we cannot describe and put into category or sentence what happens in those experiential moments of presence. Sometimes, perhaps it is better to leave them without word and allow the feeling to echo, to reverberate and inform what comes next. Because, after all, those states come and go. And there will be a next wave that rises and falls in what is and always has been, water. When I pray, am I praying to the waves or praying to the water?