No right answers
A mirror, still lake reflection, revealing myself to the one who looks; I am as I am. Life is not a test I take to get right answers; always go for C if you don’t know, that was my motto, scribble something in pencil just light enough on those wooden desks, keep the paper between my legs out of view, the notes on my hands covered, so the teacher can’t see me cheating, to try to be correct; that deep fear of failure cloaked in pride and hiding. Confusion is a saving grace that keeps me from thinking I know what I do not certainty stealing wonder; there is no time for that, class is over. The rest of us, we may pretend to have ourselves together, standing on stable ground and spinning with momentum, holding on breathe by breathe, unwilling to admit truth even to ourselves, that truth that cuts through such shows of what is done to stay liked and in control. It is devastating to destroy illusions, that have firmly been bought into, and yet freedom demands it. When I wake up I no longer believe those subliminal messages that entered my subconscious before I knew how to differentiate and discern what is real from lies. I’m still learning. In this process of awakening there is no way to pass or fail, get things right or get them wrong, such thinking leads to perfection performing an angel in disguise or doubt that cripples me from trying. I look out. There is no better or worse ways to move forward, there are paths and there is choice, what keeps me in movement towards my ideals, towards my God? I look in. There are no golden stars of praise for my insecurity, and no way that such 5 cent stickers could heal wounds of lifetimes, it couldn’t be so easy, as to come from another, I would be robbed of my victory if it were. And they don’t have my answers, unless questions are multiple choice, and rules are general and apply to all, but there is far too much possibility for that, and instinct does not know of regulations. Until it is done, it is not about completion, this poignant moment, suspends me like never before, I am in a medial space, where I reside with projections of security that blind me from seeing such uncertainty full of potential. Will I grab onto something familiar? What, right now, can be born? It’s all to easy to become comfortable, to slip into what spins automatic, the battle begins when I stop and start again. This life is very precious, a gift for the soul to see itself, in those mirrored reflections of eternal moments. Time, the devil, another delusion, trying to keep me on track, playing games with something way bigger then it could ever be. My world, my choosing, my responsibility. What do I want to create? Humility, strikes me, in worship. I cannot get it wrong, and I’m free to more forward, taking one more step.
Fish – Matsyasana
Fish pose, evocative by name, brings to my mind fishes of all kinds, and the fishermen with poles in hand and lines casted out. I am reminded of summer time; times by the ocean in Maine where I would watch people sitting on the jetty rocks for hours waiting for what might bite the bait. When I come into fish pose I think about that as a metaphor in my life: what temptations am I following that may actually pull me away from my home? What bait am I biting? The fish that chase those silvery and shining hooks aren’t foolish. They are following what they think will serve them well, what will provide them nourishment of some kind, or at least satisfy a desire. The same is true for me: sometimes I follow things out of desire that I believe will support me and in those moments, just like the fish, discernment would be a very useful skill to apply. The second cakra, Svadhisthana, is governed by the element of water. There, a alligator fish resides named Makara, who is endlessly hungry for more. More of anything and everything. It is here where imagination and fear live, and where desire breeds. When I apply awareness to desire I can see that some point me towards the highest, and others push me upstream, making my life more of a challenge that it has to be. It isn’t desire in itself that is a negative thing; it is more the quality of my desires and what they bring out in me. What happens when I follow my desires? Do they bring out Makara, more craving, insatiability, and dissatisfaction? Or do they lift me up towards my heart with aspiration, intention, and hope? And how do these relate to my imagination, to my fears? Fishes are at home in water; whether they live in ponds, streams, lakes, or oceans. They navigate through subtle sensing and by flowing with currents. They cannot be forced to flow; it happens rather naturally and with ease. I find that it serves me well to cooperate and relax into the own current of my life rather than putting up resistance. Sometimes, I very well and stubbornly act upon my self-will and ignore Her messages; eventually, though, I tire and wish again to be carried downstream. At other times fish are kept in tanks. There are always some type of limitations in life. I find myself drawn to look into the idea of freedom within limitation and what happens to the freedom when limitations arise. Where do I focus my energy, on what is limiting and constraining me, or on how to work within the limitation and cultivate my mobility? I find through this exploration that familiarity can be a limitation; that feeling of comfort, of “normalcy”. Sometimes, I can get used to living in a tank, or perhaps I don’t know of too much else; I take that as my true home. How else would I know what is possible? It is through glimpses of something greater that I begin to understand the tank is not all there is. With some limitations, I can release them; others I need to find my harmony with them. In deep waters there is so much that I cannot see. It has me wonder how much of my choices are made from these unconscious, under water places that I am unaware of. How I can bring these to the surface? They may be my unconscious beliefs and narratives, stories I have about myself, others, and the world, all having an effect and shaping my life. Why wouldn’t I want to know such things; to know will give me the opportunity to access if they are a help or a hindrance. Warm-ups It is important to warm up the neck and shoulders for fish pose. You can work with neck rolls, either full circles or half moons and shoulder rolls. Alexander shoulder stretch can also help to prepare the shoulders. Standing or kneeling hare pose can open the shoulders as well as prepare the chest for the expansion in fish pose. Cobra pose is another way to open the chest and heart as a preliminary for fish. I also find Cobra helpful as a way to continue to warm the spine, following cat stretches or bridge. Cool-downs After fish pose it is good to again release the neck by looking to the left and to the right. Bringing the knees towards the chest and rocking side to side is supportive to the low back. Supine side twist flows well after coming out of the posture and offers the spine a different movement. Shoulderstand, if it is well within your practice, can offer the opposite movement of the neck and act as a counterbalance. Alignment Keep the legs together and see that the spine is straight. Keep the elbows underneath the shoulders and close towards the body unless lifting with namaste hands at the heart. Entering/Exiting There are a few different ways to come into fish pose; if you have another way of entering that your practice feel free to do that. Come to lye on the back. Place the hands face down underneath the low back and draw the fingers towards the toes; tucking the elbows close together and elongating the arms. Press the elbows into the floor and lift the chest towards the sky, then, slowly lower the head onto the ground below you. Keep most of the body weight on the elbows to protect the neck. Continue to lift the chest upwards. Keep the eyes open and see what it is like to look backwards. To come out of the pose, press actively into the elbows, lift the head and tuck the chin towards the chest. Slowly lower the back body onto the floor and release the arms by the sides. Practices What in you is hooked that wants to be free? Where is there freedom in you already?
Cobra – Bhujangasana
Cobra pose requires that I engage in order to expand around my heart; a parallel to my life. As I am present with the freshness of each moment and aware, I realize how much I can let go by without noticing or appreciating. It is similar in cobra pose: it seems easy to forget to actively involve the lower half of my body but that is exactly what is needed to keep me strong. That is where I lift from. The stable foundation supports becoming and letting go. When my foundation is well secured I emerge new and reveal my heart. When I live life from my heart it takes on a different meaning and perspective. In the pose there is a certain amount of pressure put on me that allows for the rising. Pressure, so often, has negative correlations. Peer pressure, pressure on myself, pressuring others, too much pressure I think I might burst. In my mind it is tied up in doing things that I didn’t want to do or trying to get others to do what they do not want to do. It relates to feelings of overwhelm and too much to handle. The cobra evokes a different kind of pressure, though, and helps me in discovering a new way to look at pressure in general.Life isn’t some easy thing; sometimes there are easeful moments, but then other times the pressures on and I need to learn the lessons from cobra: rise, expand, shed, let go. If I want to shed my hardened skin, release my limitations, outdated stories, narratives, and beliefs…if I want to grow and upgrade myself…if I want to be alive, vulnerable and authentic, then my efforts are needed to face the challenges. Cobra helps me in meeting the challenges of my life straight on, from a heart centered place, where I know my ground. There are shadows in life, and in all of us. Aspects of the personality that I am not particularly pleased with or necessarily want others to see or to see in others. Those exact aspects are what were developed, just as the snake skin, to protect me and keep me safe. They serve a purpose, and are a helpmeet. There may too come a time when they are no longer needed and I can make that choice with awareness and discrimination. To keep things in perspective: there would be no shadows if it were not for the sun. All of these partrs of myself that at times I want to omit out of my life are actually a part of being human and on the ground. I don’t have to punish myself for being selfish, jealous, insecure…for being righteously indignant, prideful, emotional. I can rather tend to my heart and understand myself. Where did these qualities come from? What is tender and vulnerable under the thickened layers of skin? I can try my best to keep a straight head on my shoulders seeing the larger picture and not just the parts. Instead of puffing up and threatening, or coiling in on myself, I can be what I am, just how I am. We’ve all got a shadow, and we are the Light of the sun. Warm-ups Start by warming up the spine, particularly the low back for Cobra pose. Downward dog, moving bridge pose and cat stretches are good for the whole spine. childs pose, or knees to chest can help warm up the low back. To prepare the heart and shoulders hare pose can be helpful or some shoulders and neck rolls.Cool-Downs After cobra pose either lying childs or childs pose can support the opposite motion of the low back. Sitting forward fold or tortoise pose can also do this.Alignment To protect the lower back be sure to firm the lower half of the body. Instead of lifting straight up with the side first come forward and then rise, keeping the spinal column long.Entering/ExitingCome to lye on your belly with the head turned towards one side, take a few breathes. Turn the head towards the other side take a few breathes.Feel into the lower abdomen and pelvis.Bring either the forehead or chin to the mat. Explore both options and do what feels best for your body.Bring the hands down by the side of the hips palm facing down. The hands can also be placed underneath the shoulders with elbows bent. If you do this make sure that you are using the strength from your legs and back rather then pressing into the hands.Engage the legs, press the thighs into the floor and firm the buttocks.Press the pelvis into the floor and elongate the spine forward and up lifting the front of the body off of the floor.Draw the shoulder blades back towards each other and the hands down towards the feet to expand around the heart. If your hands are under the shoulders still draw the shoulder blades together to open the front of the body.Stay in as long as feels comfortable for you.To come out, gently lower down, relax the entire body, and turn the head towards one side and then the other.PracticesWhile in the cobra explore one of the following questions:What makes me coil in on myself and protect?What am I ready to shed and let go of?When do I disengage with my life and what does it take to stay engaged?What does pressure have to teach me in my life and how can it help me grow?
Warrior 2 Virabhadrasana 2
In Warrior pose I reflect on what I want and what strength I need to cultivate. When I build the pose from the ground up I realize that a stable stance is necessary to rise from a centered place. Such lift requires me to meet situations straight on and be straight with myself and others while having a capacity to bend and rotate but not break. It is such strength that I emerge out of. It becomes clear what I am up against is my own lower nature. Others are the mirror for me to see both my shortcomings and victories. I battle these aspects of myself for the sake of being the love that I am in Essence. It is my responsibility to take action and stretch beyond my limitations. The warrior asks me to respond to the Light, and in that responsiveness to do what needs to be done. There is no time to play small or back down while in battle; it is time to face myself, act, pray and release. When I take ownership of my life I can make changes and create. I can learn from the past, have a vision for the future, and stand with the present. I have choice and opportunity awaits. At times, I need to do what isn’t comfortable to cooperate with my evolution. What is asked of me isn’t always what I want for myself and to listen to the Divine requires both my effort and surrender. To stay in the moment with alertness supports my ability to discern. It doesn’t serve me to dwell on what has happened and be carried by my mind to the past. I need to keep my vision towards the goal and stay present. To be a warrior I cannot hold myself to an outdated image; upgrading and transformation are key. It is up to me; I can take responsibility and become the person I want to be. Each moment I can approach from an empowered place. Warm-Ups You can warm up the whole body by doing a few Sun Salutations. This will also help to stretch the hips and legs. Other hip warm ups to explore could be tree pose, bound angle, both on the wall or lying down, and wide angle forward fold. Hare, either standing or kneeling, will help to warm the shoulders and expand the chest.Cool-Downs After Warrior 2 you can either stand in Mountain pose and notice the effects on your mind and body or go into Wide Angle Forward Fold. Wide Angle Forward Fold can also be done before transitioning to the other side. Alginment Explore the weight on the feet and see that both sides of the feet, and the back of the feet, are pressing into the floor equally. Notice the difference between the rotation in the legs: the back leg is rotating inward to follow the foot below and the front leg is rotating outward drawing the knee towards the outside edge of the foot. You should still be able to see your toes past your knee. Feel that your upper body lifts from the hips. As a way to see if you are centered you can lean slightly towards the front and towards the back, returning to center and rising. Take a look at the arms and see that they are straight across the body.Entering/ExitingStep into a wide leg stance facing the long end of the mat.Turn one foot 45 degrees in (back foot) and the other foot 90 degrees out (front foot) facing the short end of the mat. See that the heel of the front foot is algined with the instep of the back foot.Lift the arms toward the sky and bring them into a T position outstretched from the shoulders. Take a look at your back arm and see that it is straight across from the front arm. Reach out of the index fingers to open the chest. Look over the front hand with a soft gaze.Bend at the front knee and ensure that you can still see your toes. Draw the knee slightly towards the pinky side of the foot. Engage the back leg.To come out, straighten the front leg, turn both feet towards the long end of the mat, release the arms.When you are ready, transition towards the other side.PracticesReflect on what your responsibilities are. How do you respond to your life? To what you know? What does it mean to you to take responsibility; would you do something differently?What are the obstacles you need to overcome and what inner strength will help you do so?
Tadasana Mountain Pose
In Mountain pose I come to my senses and myself. I arrive and meet myself where I am, as I am, in this place, now. I watch my mind and observe the sensations in the parts of my body and my body as a whole. I feel, I breathe, I am as everything changes. The Mountain pose, and mountains themselves, are apparently still, but are they? To be static, inert, devoid of movement is to be dead and neither mountains, nor myself, nor the process of life is dead. When I think I know the Mountain, I stop learning; and Mountains have so much to teach. This seemingly fixed thing, when I really start to be with it, has depth, layers, activity; it is dynamic, shifting, and in movement. Mountain is a metaphor for me, for living, for love, for life. None of these things are able to be limited to the confinements of definitions, and when I try to do so, I suffer. All of these things are in a process; I am too a process. There is no final posture, there is no final outcome, no end. The Mountain peaks leads to another valley where I can see in the distance another Mountain awaiting. It keeps going. To climb the mountain is to have a goal in mind, an aim, a destination. But such things are not the climb; ideals and aspirations do not get me anywhere, they do not get me closer to the top. They are initiators, they are the longing, the hope, the desire. But then I have to walk, moving one foot after the other, taking a step at a time. I have to actually get my feet on the ground and begin. The climb requires my engagement, perseverance, effort, and hard work! Sometimes the paths are rough, rugged, and steep. Other times the terrain smooths out, becoming flat, allowing me to catch my breathe and perspective. Sometimes I am underneath a canopy of trees where I can hardly see anything outside of myself and closest surroundings; other times there is spaciousness, a broadened perspective. Sometimes I am out and exposed in the heat of the sun; other times I am among shade clouds and rainstorms, at times even thunder and lightning have me looking for shelter. As I near the top the landscape becomes more desolate, barren and lonely. With too much ambition and attachment to the goal I miss the process of the climb and all that it offers. The rocks to scramble on, the moist moss to touch, the sound of waterfalls and small streams, new plants emerging, the smells of wintergreen, wet leaves and flowers, and my place within it all. A being moving within a landscape, moving with a landscape. The top, the vista, the view, is the victory for me to take in, hopefully the same way I have been with the process of getting there. Because, ultimately, the view also doesn’t last. I again climb away from the top, heading towards the foothills. It is all impermanent. My mind and my physical body both must be strong and stepping together in harmony. Both of my feet, my two halves, walking. One, then the other; they support each other, they are interdependent. My feet carry me, they are the point of connection between my body and the play of Earth. They too, have many parts that come together in unison. Each part providing and fulfilling its own role; each part complete onto itself and yet still a part of the whole. The heel takes my weight, root me down, standing me in place receiving all that I am. My metatarsals and toes provide that needed counterbalance, helping to stabilize me. The nerves allow me to feel myself and all that I am interconnected with. I stand alone, only so far as my body goes; in Truth and with the Light, I am standing with everything else. We stand alone, together. We are like the forest of trees in the Mountain. Standing alone, together. My stance gets stronger, when I embody its fullness. It wobbles other days. It tells me about myself. In my stance I find my own Self and recognize the need for others, the value of friendship, of loving, of living. As I become this “independent” being, just like my heel, complete unto itself, I can co-create with others with a sense of reciprocity. Then I know I give, I receive; life is in the exchange. I remember that I create my future from where I stand now. My past is behind me. There is always opportunity to connect from a different place, to look at the view from all sides. My life changes, always. When I am willing to make the trek alone, knowing that I am not alone, I can come together but in a different way. A way of gratitude, of humility, of appreciation and celebration. The climb is not the same even if the Mountain is, but I do become more aquanted with the trails and steps as I go, recognizing patterns and potential. From the Mountain I can learn everything, but what I have learned most is that it is better to not know and stay open, alert, awake, alive. To be the bridge for the Divine in a similar way that my feet bridge me to myself and to Her. I can relax and stand. Or I can engage and lift. Either way, I meet the moment. Can I meet and be with what is in all of its freshness? The climb is in the climbing, love is in the loving. Life is bunch of verbs, not nouns. Mountains are in the movement. They stand upright and in their independence but within a range. They stretch over miles of landscapes are also are among other landscapes to which they are instrinsicly a part of and cannot be seperated from. The lines of this and that are not as easily